Disclaimer: it is not the policy or practice of Tiles in a Mosaic to insult, disparage, attack or otherwise speak reckless nonsense about anyone’s religion, spiritual beliefs, or other morally guiding principles. However, pointing out things that are highly illogical and make one look like a crazy person are well within the realm of accepted topics around these parts…especially if it’s funny. Try not to overreact.
This gentleman got on the downtown A train one stop after me this afternoon. He also had a cart:
Astute readers will have already noticed that this cart is, in fact, a stroller. Rest assured there is no child in that unattended stroller. At least, not one that I could detect in any way. Although, now that I think about it, I can neither confirm nor deny the presence or absence of a child in said stroller. Maybe I should have made that a priority before making the snarky observations I am about to impart. I’ll keep that in mind for next time. Onwards and upwards.
Even more astute readers may have discerned that the sign strapped to the front of the stroller reads “JUDGMENT DAY”…and then will have realized where this post is going and immediately have stopped reading. Shit…I just lost all my readers. But I’m gonna keep going! Let’s look back at the guy. He looks non-descript enough, but that’s just because my subway photography skills suck. See how’s there’s some writing on the front of his windbreaker? I’ll translate it for you. On the (his) right, it reads “Judgment Day Begins May 21, 2011.” On his left, “Cry Mercy Unto God http://www.wecanknow.com.” Finally, let’s take a glance at the back of the windbreaker:
That, of course, says “King Jesus Returns May 21, 2011 Prepare to Meet Thy God Amos xx:xx.” The “xx:xx” was actual chapter and verse numbers, but I wasn’t quick enough to catch it. Not really relevant. While this guy and I cruised down the 8th Avenue Express sitting across from one another, I had the following thoughts:
1. Clearly he hasn’t seen the movie 2012. After that film, everyone knows that the world will be ending next year, not this one. Close, but no day of reckoning, fella. Although, since his jacket clearly reads that judgment day will begin in May 2011, I supposed it’s entirely possible that the whole process could take 7+ months before we get to actual Armageddon. I mean, Jesus does have a shitload of judging to do. It’s only fair that we give him a reasonable timeline.
2. According to the passage he’s citing on the back of the jacket, the actual date of Judgement Day is made explicit in the scripture…in terms of the Gregorian calendar…which only existed about 1500 years after Christ last walked the Earth. I feel like if the date were this apparent, someone would have mentioned it to me at some point during Catechism classes. I would have liked the heads up. As it is now, I on’y have 4 months to prepare. The clergy can be expecting a strongly worded letter from me after this miss.
3. He’s wearing a Jets hat. Since the Jets lost last week, and the world will be ending well before next football season starts, that means he is choosing to support a team that he knows he will never see play again. That, my dear readers, is commitment. Jets fans are masochistic enough, but this guy clearly takes the cake. You gotta respect his loyalty though. Some other doomsday prophets might jump on the bandwagon of a winning team in the face of the oncoming Apocalypse, but not this guy. He’s Gang Green until the bitter end.
I’m actually kind of excited that I happened upon this guy. Not only did I squeeze a blog post out of it, but it gives me a chance to survive yet another end of the world event. I endured Y2K (what an anticlimactic disappointment that was, right?), I intend to make it through 2012 unscathed, and now I get to look forward to making it through this “King Jesus” event in May. Maybe I’ll throw a party. That way if I’m wrong, I at least go down swinging.