I’m glad this dude and his backpack are comfortable. What’s that? No, sir, the other 6 people and I are just standing around because that’s how we get down; we don’t need a seat. You just keep on listening to Peter Cetera’s greatest hits or whatever nonsense you have dialed up on your iPod while you squint at your moderate-level sudoku through those inexplicable sunglasses. I’ll just stand here against the subway door. I’d rather potentially risk my life than sit next to your douchey ass anyway.